About Peer reading/editing

Mina-san,

I feel like to some extent the peer reading/editing worked well on my paper revision. Even though the Japanese level of our classmates currently is not as high as Sato-sensei, still they can give me really good feedback on the clarity of my speech as an audience. I think so far the main problem of my speech is clarity. I am trying to tell my readers a story between my high school Chinese teacher and me. Sometimes, however, I felt like I couldn't make myself understood due to the lack of vocabulary and various sentence structures.

I tried my best to give detailed comments about the following items: global issues, such as the main idea/paragraph unity(if it is more than one paragraph)/conclusion and also the variety of sentence structure/ vocabulary/grammar,etc. I also felt like I learned something after reading other classmates' drafts as I knew what kind of mistakes they had made.

So the draft I just posted is the second draft of my speech. And I think I've made much clearer sentences and grammar. Please take a look at it and hopefully you will enjoy reading it.

Thanks,
Chin